Death
by morph
Summary: The TARDIS reflects on death. Set during Rise of the Cybermen and Age of Steel. Part of my TARDIS 100 series. One Shot.


AN/ There's not a lot I can say about this fic. It's set during "Rise of the Cybermen" and "Age of Steel." It is a focus on death and what the TARDIS thinks of her experience with it. Part of my TARDIS 100 series. The BBC own everything Doctor Who. One Shot.

For my muse, Bindi. She told me about this scene in the first place. She sat with me while I, feeling horrified and afraid, watched it. She also wanted me to write this fic ever since she first saw that scene, so here it is.

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Death. Also known as la mort, tod, morte, muerte... and that's just for a small population on Earth. It is the ending of life. Death is followed by biological decomposition of the body and psychological and emotional mourning for those left behind. It can be sudden or drawn-out, violent or peaceful. It is a natural phenomenon. Algor mortis and rigor mortis. Cardiac arrest, no breathing or pulse. No brain activity. Gone. 

Because of its mystery, it has been woven into myths and folklore across the universe. What happens next? Heaven or hell? Bright lights, visiting those who have died before you, or returning to haunt the living? The Grim Reaper is a human personification of death. Humans like to personify things they don't understand because it helps them relate to it better. They also like to use many different phrases to refer to death, as if the word itself is taboo. To pass on or pass away. To kick the bucket. To cash in your chips. To push up daises. To part your company. To take that long, final sleep.

Death has also been called the Doctor's "one constant companion." I know first hand that it follows him everywhere. So many people who were connected to him have died. I knew it was only a matter of time before I followed suit.

I am the last TARDIS. My death would be like the extinction of a species. There are only a few ways I could go; either quickly in battle, being blown to bits by some variety of space missile, or quietly, alone and forgotten, parked somewhere in some time to slowly give up life.

I am not looking forward to death. I have lived a long time, but even that is not enough. I am therefore extremely grateful to my Doctor. He saved me from the brink. He gave me his _own_ life, or at least some of it. I love him. I have decided there is no point in existing after he can regenerate no more. So long as he lives, I will live too.

My taste of death came quite by accident. I fell through an invisible crack in the Time Vortex. I should have seen it coming, but I was distracted. Rose and the Doctor were reminiscing of past adventures and making a fool of Mickey. I was repairing the minor damage done by him due to the amount of time he spent unnecessarily holding down that button on my console. It wasn't his fault though, and I don't blame him at all for what happened.

I can remember falling. There was fire all around me. Then blackness.

For a moment, it was quiet and dark. I realised that I couldn't detect the Doctor's mind any more. It was the same for his companions. They were gone. It was very frightening. I can always detect any scientist minds. I can always get inside them. But now, there was nothing. Just emptiness deeper than any I had even known.

I was alone, and it scared me.

Were they dead, or was I?

I tried to negotiate my mind through the darkness, but I found that I could not. I began to panic. Why couldn't I sense them? Was I dead?

Then, through the darkness I could hear familiar voices. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but I was comforted by the fact that I recognised them. I couldn't tell if they were from the TARDIS' and Time Lords who fell during the Time War, or if they were the Doctor and his companions.

I felt calmer…like I could just drift away…

I wanted to rest…. I had been travelling for so long…

My sisters were there… I could hear them calling me…

But my Doctor… I could not leave my Doctor… he needs me…

Someone was singing…

I felt something touch me, like when you grab your foot after it has fallen asleep.

Wait…some small part of me was still alive. A single, small, stubborn cell glowing dimly. It was the part of me that knew that I couldn't die just yet. My Doctor and his companions still needed me, still depended on me. I was the Doctor's last piece of home. I could not give up!

And then… _LIFE_.

A single breath, that is all it took for my Doctor to give me ten years of his life. I could feel myself slipping away from the blackness. It was slow, but steady, like a slow assent to the surface of the ocean after a deep dive.

A few hours later I woke from my coma. I can not describe the joy I experienced when I felt the Doctor's mind once again. He was overwhelmed with relief and I was eternally grateful.

I escaped death. I regenerated, like a true being of Gallifery.

Thank you, my Doctor.


End file.
